A Little Class and Culture
by Spense
Summary: TV VERSE. A trip to the theater yields surprising results. Part of the Reno Chronicles, originally posted under the penname '3 Wrinkles and a Crease'. ONE SHOT.


**A LITTLE CLASS AND CULTURE, OR THE ART OF ENGINEERING**

**(Part of the Reno Chronicles)**

**Please note, this is a re-posting. This story was originally posted under the pen-name '3 Wrinkles and a Crease', and is still up under that name as part of the Reno Chronicles. I just wanted to move it to my library as well, so I do apologize if everybody was hoping this was a new story. Sorry about that.  
**  
By Spense

Note: This is TV-Verse.

"Romeo, Oh Romeo, Where art thou, Romeo?"

Gordon slunk down in his seat in the plush New York theater. He was about as bored as he could possibly get. A quick glance over at Alan confirmed that he was nearly asleep. Virgil, on the other hand, looked towards the stage with rapt attention. John looked interested, but not particularly fascinated. All utterly normal reactions for the brothers in question.

There was one surprise, though. Scott met Gordon's glance and made a theatrical grimace like he might puke. It was so over-the-top, so much like the actors on the stage, and so un-Scott like, that Gordon gave a snort of laughter in surprise. He would have thought that Scott would have supported this kind of 'cultural experience' for his brothers.

Lady Penelope turned towards him and frowned. "Gordon," she whispered firmly. "Hush! This is the balcony scene – the most famous scene in '_Romeo and Juliet'."_

Scott, on Penny's other side, mouthed 'baloney' at him. It was all Gordon could do to not burst out laughing, earning him another stern look from Penny. Still snickering, Gordon turned his attention back to the stage and tried to stay awake.

**_TB TB TB TB TB _**

At the conclusion of the play, the five Tracy brothers, accompanied by Lady Penelope, exited the theater onto the chilly New York street. The group of five handsome young men surrounding the striking blond woman turned many heads as they strode down the sidewalk. The young men's dark, elegant wool coats set off Penny's silver and white wool dress coat to perfection.

Alan at least waited until they were clear of the theater before groaning and asking, "And the point of that was . . .?"

Gordon snickered. "The point was to see adults play dress up and speak in unintelligible sentences."

There was a round of laughter in appreciation of this sally.

Scott grinned at Alan. "You know Al, I don't know that you caught any of it. Every time I looked at you, you were sound asleep."

"I was not!" Alan protested. Then he grinned sheepishly. "Well . . . only some of the time. That really has to be one of the most boring things I've ever seen."

Virgil shook his head in disgust. "Come on guys. It's art! It's a play that's lasted hundreds of years, and sparked tons of imitations. It defines the human spirit and a human's need for love."

"It's BS," Alan comment firmly.

"Alan!" Penny reprimanded, amidst the other brothers' laughter. "Your father would not be pleased."

"Alan, you have a supreme talent with language that rivals Shakespeare's. Eloquently put!" Gordon grinned.

John and Scott were grinning as well at the byplay. "I can see why Dad bowed out," John commented thoughtfully. "That wasn't exactly the most . . . stimulating . . . play, or production, for that matter, that I've seen."

Penny rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Your father had urgent business to attend to. He had fully planned on joining us." She ignored the low, sarcastic 'uh-huh, sure,' that essayed from Gordon's direction, and continued. "He agrees with me that it is important for you boys to get out and experience some culture. He felt my idea to take all of you to the play was excellent, especially when I pointed out that only Virgil and John have ever had any real exposure to the arts. You have all been involved in IR to the exclusion of all else, and your education prior to that was sadly lacking in the arts. That's why, when I first made the suggestion, Jeff was more than happy to arrange for Brains to man TB Five so you would all be able to attend."

"Well, I enjoyed it mostly because I just like Shakespeare, although '_Romeo and Juliet_' isn't exactly my favorite play." Virgil commented staunchly, as much in agreement as to shut up the inevitable comments that Penny's statement would spark. "Shakespeare's use of the language is really amazing."

"If you can understand whatever it is he's saying!" Alan muttered darkly.

Virgil ignored him and continued thoughtfully, "But I have to admit that I'd rather see something like '_King Lear'_ or '_Macbeth_'. '_Romeo and Juliet'_, while beautifully crafted, is, well, frankly . . stupid! Juliet is a spoiled brat, and Romeo sure doesn't look to be a prize either."

The other four Tracy brothers burst into peals of laughter as much at Penny's scandalized expression as at Virgil's words.

"Virgil Tracy!" She exclaimed. "I thought that you, of all people, could appreciate this timeless love story!"

"Me?" Virgil exclaimed. "Not bloody likely. I'm cooped up on an island all the time. None of us gets out enough to use what it professes."

Penny interrupted. "I rest my case."

Virgil shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, '_Romeo and Juliet_' is about as close to love as I'm likely to get until work slows down! You have to meet women in order to appreciate a love story. And to meet women, we have to get OFF the island. Unless maybe one washes up on the beach. . . . And the chances of that are about zero. Anyway, neither is likely to happen anytime soon! About the only one of us likely to get anything useful out of that play is Alan here. He's the only one involved in a serious relationship, and he slept through it!"

Alan flushed a bright red at the explosion of laughter around him. His relationship with TinTin was still pretty new.

"Yeah, Al. Learn some new phrases to use with TinTin?" Gordon kidded his youngest brother.

"Well, the more drama the better has certainly been Alan's mode of operation all of his life! Just forget the suicide part, huh kiddo?" Scott laughed.

"Come on guys . . . " Alan was fiery red with embarrassment.

John rescued him by steering the conversation in a different direction. "Virg has a point. I mean, my focus has been so much on rescues lately that I watched the whole thing thinking about how unsafe that balcony set was. Can you just see us, up on stage, helping to rescue the actors, all the while trying to pretend we aren't IR?" John grinned. "Now isn't that a paradox?"

"Honestly, we all deserve a Tony Award anyway for our usual acting prowess on the job!" Virgil laughed in agreement. "Personally, I think we're much better than the actors we saw tonight."

"I'd have to agree with you there," John answered.

"And the mechanics of the sets were driving me crazy," Alan commented. "I mean, how squeaky can that machinery get? A little WD40 and some better engineering would be in order."

That comment sparked a spirited discussion about the poor design of the set, the shakiness of the whole balcony, and possible ways to improve it.

". . . And a cherry picker to put it together." Virgil's eyes glowed at the thought of a big machine hoisting the set up to it heights.

"Boys," Penny sighed. She was again over shadowed by the enthusiastic discussion. "BOYS!" She yelled this time, getting the desired silence. "Boys, it's about ART, not engineering!"

This time the silence was puzzled. "But engineering is way more interesting," Alan said firmly.

"We'll tell TinTin that," John commented dryly, sparking another explosion of laughter.

Still snickering, Gordon interjected, "More people would probably go see it if it were a disaster and we could rescue them."

"Here, here!" Scott applauded. "That would certainly liven things up."

The conversation turned technical again, as the brothers tried to top each other by determining manner of disaster and method of rescue.

Penny shook her head in disgust. "No wonder your father thought my suggestion about culture was a good one. All of you need to grow up!"

John piped up. "No, only Alan. He's the reason we can't go to a bar. He's still underage."

Alan flashed back, "Only for another three weeks."

"Children, children," Virgil soothed. "Be calm for a moment. I believe the art of engineering will win the day."

The whole party looked at him oddly until he continued. "All we need to do is tell Lady Penelope exactly what Dad's urgent business was."

The group went dead silent except for Scott who started to laugh. "You wouldn't, Virg."

Virgil smiled serenely. "Oh, but I would. Dad made us all attend '_Romeo & Juliet'_, while his 'urgent, unforeseen business' was trying to get the fireplace in the apartment fixed."

"What?" Lady Penelope asked dangerously.

"Yes, Lady P. Dad felt that the art of engineering in fixing the fireplace superseded the class and culture of Romeo and Juliet."

Penny's mouth tightened. "Well, I'll just have to make sure I change his mind for him." Taking a deep breath, she headed down the street. "Come along boys."

Suddenly sober, the five brothers looked after the dainty woman, before following warily.

"Hmmm, maybe '_Macbeth_' would have been more to the point after all," Gordon muttered.

John just raised his eyebrows and quoted. "Boil, boil, toil and trouble . . ."

"Or 'What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive'," Scott quoted in reply.

"Poor Dad . . ." was all Alan had to say.


End file.
